Why Women Don’t Go for Nice Guys
Do women like bad guys for real, or is it something you’re missing? It’s an old tale most people think about from time to time. However, is there any truth to it? Well, that’s why our article exists. We’re more than willing to help you out and explore why people seem to think that nice guys are not popular.
People usually associate being a good guy with being boring. Although that might seem stupid, there’s some truth to it. On the other hand, some women just like to settle for a stereotypical macho hunk who’ll eventually break their heart, somewhat poetically. People argue that it’s just their primal instinct kicking in and making them fall for guys who we consider alpha males.
Nevertheless, we’ll try to explain why being nice isn’t that original. But don’t worry — we won’t leave you high and dry. Along the way, we’ll give you some tips and dating advice that you’ll be able to use and change how girls perceive you in real life. So without further ado, let’s explore if women prefer bad boys.
Being Nice Usually Means You Are Boring
There’s no definitive answer to what women like. Saying that they always like this or that would mean we’re simplifying and generalizing more than half of the world’s population. However, you can find patterns in how most people, including women, identify a potential partner. One of the main criteria is not to be boring.
Unfortunately, being good all the time is boring and one-dimensional nowadays. Sure, similar standards applied in the past, but modern times are completely different from what the world was a couple of decades ago. The point is — nice equals predictable. Since not many people enjoy the same meal every day, being a goody-two-shoes is a big no for attracting a potential lover.
Furthermore, both men and women have certain things that make them click. They are usually looking for strong and independent people they can feel safe around. However, being nice also means you’re probably not going to stand up for yourself and subsequently, for your girl. It’s just how primal instinct works.
Lastly, most nice guys tend to be clingy and overly-attached. This, once again, leads to women looking for independent men. It’s just their subconscious that makes them fall for guys who appear like they couldn’t care less if someone breaks up with them. In a way, it’s similar to reverse psychology — the more you want someone, the more you tend to act like you don’t.
Some Women Just Settle for Less
As in other aspects of life, people sometimes agree to settle for less. This is due to many factors, but self-esteem and insecurities are arguably the main ones. The lack of confidence usually makes us do things that aren’t necessarily the best for us. Unfortunately, this mentality is way too common for the majority of folks.
The same goes for finding a partner. Some women just don’t think highly of themselves, which often results in settling for heartbreak. Either they’re not willing to try hard enough and give others a chance, or they just don’t know any better. Furthermore, this short-term thinking leads to overall low-quality love life, full of eventual remorse and regret.
In some cases, women think that there’s no true love without pain. And yes, it can work for men too, but we’re talking about ladies here. No judging — just observing. Nevertheless, this doesn’t make it right in real life. Our understanding is that love is built upon communication, sharing, and intense feelings.
You Don’t Look Genuine
It’s safe to say that most of us taught that being nice is the right way to go about our lives. From early childhood, people talk about values, honesty, and politeness, no matter where you’re from. However, this doesn’t mean that everyone associates being nice with something desirable in later life. What’s more, we understand that this attitude is often a facade for other feelings.
In a world like ours, honesty just doesn’t look genuine enough. And although it’s tough, it’s something a person must understand. People don’t always mean what they’re saying while communicating with one another. Knowing this, some girls just don’t want to meet and connect with just another plain and unnatural-seeming nice guy.
Of course, this doesn’t mean we argue that being nice is bad. No, not at all. However, you should be careful about how you act in front of someone you like, depending on the situation. Hence, being calm, cool, and collected can overpower the predictable stance of fake smiles and forced compliments. You should accept that there’s gray between black and white.
The Nice Guy Syndrome
In case you didn’t know, some women have a label for guys who try hard to present themselves as desirable. They call it — the nice guy syndrome. It’s a term that applies to guys who view themselves as traditionally polite and well-mannered, but it’s a ploy to trick girls into a relationship or even sex. It’s a stereotypical trope a ton of guys falls for, which is perceived as more than laughable among the opposite sex.
This trope isn’t something you should strive for. The reason is — girls will easily realize your intentions, more often than not. You’d have to be some kind of a stud to pull it off, but then again, you probably don’t need to do it anyway. The whole point is to be who you are since honesty is a trait that works intuitively. No matter if you’re hitting on girls in a real-life situation or through a dating site, not faking anything will help you have long-term success.
On the other hand, there’s always the risk of ending up in the infamous friend zone. Putting yourself on a plate for someone will often make them use you or simply view you as just a friend. Therefore, having a bit of an edge in your personality is key to avoiding this unfortunate situation.