10 realistic dating tips for shy guys
For shy men, dating sounds like a nightmare. However, with the right advice, an introvert can be much more successful on the dating scene.
Here are some dating tips about what you, as a shy person, should do.
Don’t be the ‘nice guy’
We all know about the “nice guy” trope. The so-called nice guy acts courteous but is then outraged when that alone doesn’t bag him any dates.
That’s because being nice isn’t enough on its own. Sure, it’s great to be kind, but it’s also kinda expected. You’ll hardly impress a woman by how fast and hard you can open a door for her.
Rather, you need to be both kind and interesting. Buttress your niceness with a strong personality. After all, a girl wants to date a person, not a walking mound of manners.
Improve the way you look
Whether we like it or not, looks matter. More precisely, the way we present ourselves through clothing, hairstyles, and the like matters. As such, looking sloppy will put a lot of girls off.
So you need to put effort into the way you look. Regular grooming and stylish clothes can make a world of difference (probably more so than you think). Working out, even if it’s light jogging, will do you a lot of good. Not only will you look much better, but your confidence will shoot through the roof; trust us.
Remember the 10-second rule
What’s the ten-second rule, you ask? It’s this: when it comes to talking to a girl, you only need to be brave for ten seconds. That’s the time it takes to say hi to a potential partner, introduce yourself, and lay your intentions bare (ask her out, buy her a drink, etc.).
From there, things are much easier, no matter how she responds. If she shoots you down, you move on to someone else. If she doesn’t, you got through the toughest part, so you can relax. Either way, the ten seconds needed to make your move are the only big hurdle.
Well, maybe not the only one…
Learn to make small talk
There are so many subtle things you need to pay attention to when making small talk. You seemingly have to say the right thing all the time and have an opinion on everything. What do you say? What if you say something dumb or rude? Are you really supposed to care what the weather was like on this day last year?
While it isn’t exactly rocket science, it is something that takes practice to do well. That’s why you have to learn how to make small talk. There’s no easy way around it — you just need to chat with a lot of people.
Be proud of your hobbies
Hobbies are a great thing to talk about, even if they’re kinda nerdy or weird (sometimes, it’s even better if they are). The thing is that hobbies come from a place of great passion, and passion is something everyone likes to see.
So don’t be afraid of talking about your war boat model collection. Who knows, maybe she’d like to hear more about it. In fact, she probably spends time on a hobby she finds too silly to share too. So take the first step!
Don’t cancel plans
Cold feet suck. They often drive shy guys into such a panic that they cancel plans at the last moment.
However, as you’ve probably noticed in your experience, succumbing to cold feet only makes you feel worse in the long run. You may feel relieved at first, but disappointment slowly creeps in as you start thinking about what you might be missing.
The point is, it’s always better to go somewhere and potentially have a great time than to miss out on any chance of having fun.
The first date
For a shy guy, a first date can often be hard to navigate, even more so than long-term relationships. All the anxiety of not knowing what to say comes flooding back. As a result, the shy guy masks his insecurity by closing himself off.
That’s why you should make the first date something to loosen you up a little. For example, if you’re into boating, take her to the pier, and you can show off your knowledge. Do you like Mario Party? Challenge her to a game or two.
If you think about it, online dating sites avoid most of the tension shy men feel about in-person dating.
For one, it takes away the fear you’ll spontaneously say something stupid since you can take a moment to think about the message you’re about to send. Secondly, you needn’t stress about the way you look, speak, or move. You have a nice picture of yourself to represent you at your finest, and messages don’t reveal your voice.
So there’s a lot that dating apps can offer you if the face-to-face situation freaks you out.
Don’t always meet where you feel comfortable
A lot of this post has been about you making yourself more comfortable. Well, this is the point where we tell you to forget that. At least sometimes.
Introverts easily fall into a routine, which leads them into a rut. Every day, they go about the same old business, right on schedule. They start fearing anything new that could actually help them grow as a person.
That’s why doing something outside of your comfort zone every once in a while is so important. It’ll show you what you’re capable of, granting you a better understanding of your strengths and limits.
Introverted people can’t stand being in social situations for long periods of time. They need some time to recharge their batteries.
If you start feeling worn out by all the dating and socializing, feel free to put it all on pause for a while. The institution of dating won’t disappear while you’re taking time off, we promise. Once you feel ready to get back in the saddle, you can ride into the scene yet again.